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Narrator:After the massive flops of BB15 and BB16, we fired Julie Chen and recruited a bunch of teenagers from a chat room. Let met our Host Charrle.

Ally:Hello my name is Charrle but you can call me Ally. We have great show for you, but first let met the cast.


  • At the Mexico and Arizona border*

HeO:Mom hurry let cross, I can see Dairy Queen and WWE is playing there.

Consula:No, no eat your Takis.

Heo:Okay, but I better find sum hot Asian chicks. *Open Takis and find big brother key* What this?

  • At a Panda Express in San Jose*

RJ:Mama C was robed but at least Kelley got on second chances. <3 but now that survivor ended it time to kill myself. *Get out bleach* OH WAIT BIG BROTHER IS STARTING SOON!

Morgan:*Enter Panda Express*

RJ:OMG Morgan you are my hero!

Morgan:Liek thanks, I got app-acted for big brother but like I'm to hot for that show and getting married soon. You want it?

RJ:Yes!

Morgan:K, now make me rice.

  • At a weed store bathroom*

Fiz:.*Smoking a bong and faping to pics of Jeremy*. He so sexy tbh. *Takes an other hit* I need some toilet Paper. *Get a ticket instead* O

  • In the Ghetto streets of Maryland*


Rocker:The only thing stoping me fucking hoes and fighting sluts is my love for big brother. *Gun shots are heard* My idol in life is Janelle.

Letreyanna:Hey son Im back from KFC and got sum watermelon with a side order of crack.

Rocker:My favirote. *Bit into KFC and get a ticket* Finally

  • At a gay bar*

Aqua:Get ready guys, I'm about To throw that ass in a circle *Twerks* *Key falls into his asschecks* Aqua:What is this. *Looks at key* Key:We need a token gay.

  • Under a bridge*

Dark:That Engoue trolling the Interant today. Plus it time to change my gimmick.

Master Yodark:Teh strong is force.

Simdark:Time to get a Sth to eat.

Dark:Wait Im to #MaxGoof to eat. *Key falls on him. I'm to #MaxGoof to not join.

  • In Arizona*

Smalls:*Takes a selfie* OMG I look so good.

Queef:Sure......

Smalls:Queef go Lesbain for me Plz.

Queef:No, I only date black guys.

Smalls:*Crys*

Queef:K, hey wat that?

Smalls:Looks like keys.

Key:We needed basic ass beta bitches, so join.

Queef:K.

  • At Fairy World*

Cosmo:Wanda no one watches our show anymore. *Cires*

Wanda:Don't worrie we will try to get on a much more revlent show.

Poof:Poof *Magicaly makes a key appares*

Wanda:There only one.

Cosmo:You should get it. :)


Wanda:Kthxbai.

  • At a bakery*

Toast:I'd like some sourdough please.

Solar:We don't have any but take this key instead.

Toast:Not what I asked for but k.

  • In Marlyland*

Jon torn:That new ERB sucked, time to go on a walk. *Heads out for walk*

Grass:Come here little boy, I got some candy.

Rocky:*Beats him up* OH SHIT YOU SCARED THE FUCK OUt OF ME.

Grass:God damn it Rocky. I was bout to show you these WWE DVDs.

Rocky:O, what that inside of them *Notices the keys*

Key:We needed douches who would form all gay allainces.

Grass:Sounds like a plan.

  • At the TRD wiki*

Epic:*Gets into. An illrevelant fight*

Mirnsh:This master chef season slays, I just got a grinder message brb.

Noah:This season is pretty good.

Tyler:I'm sure it is Noah Smalls *Trolls*

Izzy:Stop trolling please, it is Rlly annoying.

Milk:I really need a break *Grab Key*

  • At where ever the hell Derpy lives*

Derpy:This burn book is so great, time to get more Aaryn Gifs.

Derpy's GF:I have this Bb key want it.

Derpy:Yes.

  • In Austrila*

Chwwis's Gf:Why don't you love me.

Chwiis:Cuz your Gay/10

Chwiis'/ GF:Are we still a thing?

Chwiis:No bye cunt. Now I need sth to get me over this. *See key* Big brother is gay as shit but beats going to an all guys high school so why not.

  • In Brooklyn*

Jro's mom:Son go outside, make some friends or lose weight.

JRO:Mom, CHILL out Im fine. *Go on TDRpW*

Go:JRO kill yourself AULuLULULULuLu

Ethan:Yeah, your also fat.

JRO:My friends. *See key*

Key:We need a first boot.

Jro:I can never say no to money.

Ally:And there our cast. 

  • Everyones likes weaves*

Ally:The first four people allowed in the house, Wanda,Smalls,Heo, and Queef. Ladies first!

Heo:Hey!

Ally:Get in the house! *They enter*

Wanda's Dairy Room:Loking around this house is amazing, but I am the only non human here so It gonna be really hard for me to fit in.

Smalls's Dairy Room:I am one of only three girls in the house. All these man are going to wanna from showmaces wih me. *She filps her hair trying to look sexy as cricket sounds are heard. 

Queef:Hey smalls let take this room!

Smalls:Lets! *Enters*

Queef:SO cleary we have to be together.

Smalls:True, I say we drag in Heo since we know him and become a strong three sum.

Queef:I agree. *Drags heo in* Join our allaince.

Heo's Dairy room:I been in her for 3 seconds and the girls are already all over me. :8

Ally:The next four to enter the house, Grass,Rocky,Rocker, and Jro. *they enter*

Jro:*runs straight into the kicten and eat some peanut butters*

Rocker:I'll take this room Janelle sleep in here before.

  • Grass and Rocky look at eachother*

Grass's Dairy Room:Okay that dude is obbesed. He is freaking everyone out.

Ally:Dark,Toast,Fiz and Rj can now enter.

El Darko:Hola, new housemates.

Toast:Are you that Senor Toutas fgt?

El Darko:No I am.

Yodark:Master Yadark.

Toast:Oh. 

Rj's Dairy room:Big Brother is not as good as Survivor but I'm sure I can have some fun. Plus maybe I'll be like Caleb and Hayden and get to do both!

Ally:Finally, Aqua,Chwiis,Derpy, and Milk can enter the house!

Derpy's Dairy Room:I felt like I needed to from an allaince right away before everyone else form them without me. I am no Godfrey.

  • Derpy,Aqua, and Milk enter a room.

Aqua:Hey guys, wanna make a squad?

Derpy:If by squad you mean allaince then sure.

Milk:I'm down, but what do we call it?

Aqua:How bout Slay G.oddess.

Derpy:Slay G.oddess it is 

  • #SlayG.oddess apperes on sceen.

Milk's Dairy room:An Allaince just flew into my lap. I think the three of us can go very far togther.

Ally:We will let the housemate talk, before we give them the big new twist.

Derpy:So guys let all talk bout our lifes and stuff.

Jro:*Eating chicken wings* Well I go to school and I dated a fat girl once, so you can say I get dem big botty bitches. :8

Heo:I also have chicks all over me, just check out my IG

Smalls:He is right, he sure does <3

Heo:Um *Creeped out*

Aqua:Damn you two need to fuck already.

Smalls:I don't like him like that!

Aqua:Sure,

Queef:Well you guys can all call me Queen Laqueefa.

Chwiis's Dairy room:Okay does this bitch even know what a queef is?

Wanda:Well I am a fairy godmother and mother of one.

Jro:Your show is pretty ghey.

Wanda:Thanks -_-

Chwiis:Well i got a job at Myer.

Grass:Lol Myers.

Chwiis:Well, where do you work?

Grass:Whole foods.

Chwiis:Dying.

Rocky:I'm a famous youtube star.

Fiz:Hi Jontron.

Rocky:If I had power I kick you for that.

Fiz:K, I'm Jeremy Collins's offical dick sucker. Not irl tho, I wish.

Rocky;You have issues.

Fiz:Ik, it a major issue that I can't sleep with him. :(

RJ:I work at Panda express.

Heo:That is where I met most of my chicks. :8

Rocker:I work at 7/11.

Ally:Hello houseguests.

Everyone:Hi Ally.

Ally:This big seasons, is no live feds, be as horrible people as you want and no one will gives a shit.

Aqua's Dairy room:Yes! I could play like Aaryn!

Ally:And now lets get to the first HoH comp! Everyone met me in the backyard.

Rj:Can't wait.

Ally:For today's HoH comp you will hold on to this spinning Twinnkie but before that, this all the time for the episode, Join us next time.

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