Narrator:After the massive flops of BB15 and BB16, we fired Julie Chen and recruited a bunch of teenagers from a chat room. Let met our Host Charrle.
Ally:Hello my name is Charrle but you can call me Ally. We have great show for you, but first let met the cast.
- At the Mexico and Arizona border*
HeO:Mom hurry let cross, I can see Dairy Queen and WWE is playing there.
Consula:No, no eat your Takis.
Heo:Okay, but I better find sum hot Asian chicks. *Open Takis and find big brother key* What this?
- At a Panda Express in San Jose*
RJ:Mama C was robed but at least Kelley got on second chances. <3 but now that survivor ended it time to kill myself. *Get out bleach* OH WAIT BIG BROTHER IS STARTING SOON!
Morgan:*Enter Panda Express*
RJ:OMG Morgan you are my hero!
Morgan:Liek thanks, I got app-acted for big brother but like I'm to hot for that show and getting married soon. You want it?
Morgan:K, now make me rice.
- At a weed store bathroom*
Fiz:.*Smoking a bong and faping to pics of Jeremy*. He so sexy tbh. *Takes an other hit* I need some toilet Paper. *Get a ticket instead* O
- In the Ghetto streets of Maryland*
Rocker:The only thing stoping me fucking hoes and fighting sluts is my love for big brother. *Gun shots are heard* My idol in life is Janelle.
Letreyanna:Hey son Im back from KFC and got sum watermelon with a side order of crack.
Rocker:My favirote. *Bit into KFC and get a ticket* Finally
- At a gay bar*
Aqua:Get ready guys, I'm about To throw that ass in a circle *Twerks* *Key falls into his asschecks* Aqua:What is this. *Looks at key* Key:We need a token gay.
- Under a bridge*
Dark:That Engoue trolling the Interant today. Plus it time to change my gimmick.
Master Yodark:Teh strong is force.
Simdark:Time to get a Sth to eat.
Dark:Wait Im to #MaxGoof to eat. *Key falls on him. I'm to #MaxGoof to not join.
- In Arizona*
Smalls:*Takes a selfie* OMG I look so good.
Smalls:Queef go Lesbain for me Plz.
Queef:No, I only date black guys.
Queef:K, hey wat that?
Smalls:Looks like keys.
Key:We needed basic ass beta bitches, so join.
- At Fairy World*
Cosmo:Wanda no one watches our show anymore. *Cires*
Wanda:Don't worrie we will try to get on a much more revlent show.
Poof:Poof *Magicaly makes a key appares*
Wanda:There only one.
Cosmo:You should get it. :)
- At a bakery*
Toast:I'd like some sourdough please.
Solar:We don't have any but take this key instead.
Toast:Not what I asked for but k.
- In Marlyland*
Jon torn:That new ERB sucked, time to go on a walk. *Heads out for walk*
Grass:Come here little boy, I got some candy.
Rocky:*Beats him up* OH SHIT YOU SCARED THE FUCK OUt OF ME.
Grass:God damn it Rocky. I was bout to show you these WWE DVDs.
Rocky:O, what that inside of them *Notices the keys*
Key:We needed douches who would form all gay allainces.
Grass:Sounds like a plan.
- At the TRD wiki*
Epic:*Gets into. An illrevelant fight*
Mirnsh:This master chef season slays, I just got a grinder message brb.
Noah:This season is pretty good.
Tyler:I'm sure it is Noah Smalls *Trolls*
Izzy:Stop trolling please, it is Rlly annoying.
Milk:I really need a break *Grab Key*
- At where ever the hell Derpy lives*
Derpy:This burn book is so great, time to get more Aaryn Gifs.
Derpy's GF:I have this Bb key want it.
- In Austrila*
Chwwis's Gf:Why don't you love me.
Chwiis:Cuz your Gay/10
Chwiis'/ GF:Are we still a thing?
Chwiis:No bye cunt. Now I need sth to get me over this. *See key* Big brother is gay as shit but beats going to an all guys high school so why not.
- In Brooklyn*
Jro's mom:Son go outside, make some friends or lose weight.
JRO:Mom, CHILL out Im fine. *Go on TDRpW*
Go:JRO kill yourself AULuLULULULuLu
Ethan:Yeah, your also fat.
JRO:My friends. *See key*
Key:We need a first boot.
Jro:I can never say no to money.
Ally:And there our cast.
- Everyones likes weaves*
Ally:The first four people allowed in the house, Wanda,Smalls,Heo, and Queef. Ladies first!
Ally:Get in the house! *They enter*
Wanda's Dairy Room:Loking around this house is amazing, but I am the only non human here so It gonna be really hard for me to fit in.
Smalls's Dairy Room:I am one of only three girls in the house. All these man are going to wanna from showmaces wih me. *She filps her hair trying to look sexy as cricket sounds are heard.
Queef:Hey smalls let take this room!
Queef:SO cleary we have to be together.
Smalls:True, I say we drag in Heo since we know him and become a strong three sum.
Queef:I agree. *Drags heo in* Join our allaince.
Heo's Dairy room:I been in her for 3 seconds and the girls are already all over me. :8
Ally:The next four to enter the house, Grass,Rocky,Rocker, and Jro. *they enter*
Jro:*runs straight into the kicten and eat some peanut butters*
Rocker:I'll take this room Janelle sleep in here before.
- Grass and Rocky look at eachother*
Grass's Dairy Room:Okay that dude is obbesed. He is freaking everyone out.
Ally:Dark,Toast,Fiz and Rj can now enter.
El Darko:Hola, new housemates.
Toast:Are you that Senor Toutas fgt?
El Darko:No I am.
Rj's Dairy room:Big Brother is not as good as Survivor but I'm sure I can have some fun. Plus maybe I'll be like Caleb and Hayden and get to do both!
Ally:Finally, Aqua,Chwiis,Derpy, and Milk can enter the house!
Derpy's Dairy Room:I felt like I needed to from an allaince right away before everyone else form them without me. I am no Godfrey.
- Derpy,Aqua, and Milk enter a room.
Aqua:Hey guys, wanna make a squad?
Derpy:If by squad you mean allaince then sure.
Milk:I'm down, but what do we call it?
Aqua:How bout Slay G.oddess.
Derpy:Slay G.oddess it is
- #SlayG.oddess apperes on sceen.
Milk's Dairy room:An Allaince just flew into my lap. I think the three of us can go very far togther.
Ally:We will let the housemate talk, before we give them the big new twist.
Derpy:So guys let all talk bout our lifes and stuff.
Jro:*Eating chicken wings* Well I go to school and I dated a fat girl once, so you can say I get dem big botty bitches. :8
Heo:I also have chicks all over me, just check out my IG
Smalls:He is right, he sure does <3
Heo:Um *Creeped out*
Aqua:Damn you two need to fuck already.
Smalls:I don't like him like that!
Queef:Well you guys can all call me Queen Laqueefa.
Chwiis's Dairy room:Okay does this bitch even know what a queef is?
Wanda:Well I am a fairy godmother and mother of one.
Jro:Your show is pretty ghey.
Chwiis:Well i got a job at Myer.
Chwiis:Well, where do you work?
Rocky:I'm a famous youtube star.
Rocky:If I had power I kick you for that.
Fiz:K, I'm Jeremy Collins's offical dick sucker. Not irl tho, I wish.
Rocky;You have issues.
Fiz:Ik, it a major issue that I can't sleep with him. :(
RJ:I work at Panda express.
Heo:That is where I met most of my chicks. :8
Rocker:I work at 7/11.
Ally:This big seasons, is no live feds, be as horrible people as you want and no one will gives a shit.
Aqua's Dairy room:Yes! I could play like Aaryn!
Ally:And now lets get to the first HoH comp! Everyone met me in the backyard.
Ally:For today's HoH comp you will hold on to this spinning Twinnkie but before that, this all the time for the episode, Join us next time.