Author's Note: Sorry this took SO long to get done. Been wanting to finish this episode for a long time and now that it's finally off my chest I'm just glad it's finally posted for your guy's enjoyment. So nonetheless it's finally here. Enjoy!
(The scene opens up to a nice front view of the island of Tuvalu, when all of a sudden the voice of Dean Ambrose is heard)
Dean: Previously on a very special episode of Total Drama Balls of Steel, things were going extremely well for Team Pip, as they killed a shark. Meanwhile, over on Team Kike, Grass found himself in complete control of the game after forming an alliance with Heo and GO. Chip saw this as his future demise, so he had to come up with something. At the immunity challenge, the contestants had to defeat the almight Batista. Rocker won first place for his team after he went into Keanu Reeves mode, and when Rocky was about to take Batista down, Chip's ultimate plan came into play when he distracted Rocky for a bit, causing Rocky to get speard, and giving GO time to win for Team Kike. In the end, the vote was split, leaving Meta to be the deciding vote, in which he chose to get Rocky out, sending him hurling off the island. With twelve victims left, who will step up to the death ride now? Found out right here, on Total! Drama! Balls of Steel!
(Team Pip- Day 10)
(The members are seen all huddled up in their shelter as it's raining heavily outside)
Toast: *watching porn* What happen and how did Rocky go?
Fiz: I voted for him cus he kept insulting my twerking skills plus he raped me the night before elimination.
Toast: Why you guys do that? We gonna lose now
Dark: We gonna lose now
Toast: Ey shaddup Dark!
Dark: Nope, you shaddup!
Toast: Make me bish.
Dark: No u.
Toast: STOP IT!
Dark: Nah, I'm too Max Goof to stop.
Dark: *In Confessional* Toast doesn't realize that i'm too Max Goof to be playing nice with him.
Toast: *In Confessional* Dark will DIE before this is all over.
Meta: *In Confessional* Okay, so the reason I voted for Rocky is because I found him to be a bit threatening and I didn’t want to follow as second in command when we merge. Besides, I trust Dark and Toast enough to stick with me.
(Team Kike- Day 10)
Heo: *watching Asian porn on iPhone 4G*
Grass: Uh, Heo, what are you watching?
Heo: Oh, nothing, just something to help keep me reminders of Ally. *sighs*
Grass: For fuck's sake boi you aren't getting it on with her, she clearly put you down at the last challenge, before you got jacked up by Bootista.
Heo: That's cus she has yet to know me well enough. But by the end of the season I plan on getting a date with her!
Grass: By giving her Panda Express?
Grass: Ok, you gotta stop making that annoying face.
Chip: Hey bitches!
GO: WE RP NOW!
GO: WE RP NOOOOWW!!!!
Chip/Grass/Heo: SHUT UP, GO!
(GO then grabs all three of his teammates and launches them deep into the ocean)
GO: FINE! YOU NO WANT RP!? THEN GET OFF MY ISLAND! MATTER OF FACT, LEMME TAKE AWAY ALL YOUR CHARACTERS! AND THEN I TAKE COMPLETELY OVER!
Grass: *floating in water* This is gonna get annoying real quickly if he acts this way every time we say no to an RP.
(Team Pleb- Day 10)
Rocker: You guys better not vote me out cus I just legit won our first actual challenge for us so if you guys vote me out after that then that's just real petty.
RJ: Like, we'll vote you out anyways.
Rocker: That's it, get your ass over here!
(Rocker then stomps RJ flat, as in the aftermath, RJ is seen on the ground flatter than a run-over pancake)
Bat: That was r00d!
Ally: Guys, calm down! You're gonna wake up my imaginary friend!
RJ: *on ground* This.... Is nothing..... like..... #Survivor.
Rocker: Good! Now try surviving this bitch!
(Rocker then takes a shit on top of RJ)
Rocker: Eat up, sucka'!
Ally: Our team is such a nice happy little group! :3
(Immunity Challenge- Day 11)
Dean: Okay contestants, for today's challenge all you have to do is find a way to break into THIS building
(Dean Ambrose points over to a nearby building that has the Hostess logo on the front)
Dean: And you will grab a cart and try to collect as many twinkies as possible, then come back here. You will have 20 minutes, then when time is up, you all will report back to here where Roman Reigns here will add up your totals. The two teams with the highest amount of twinkies, wins immunity!
GO: Did somebody say, TWINKIE!?
Bat: Shut up, GO! Stop calling me that!
GO: .......... *whispers* Twinkie!
Dean: Alright GO, save the jokes for later, my friend.
GO: WE RP NOW!
Dean: Uh, no.
GO: YES! WE RP NOW!
Dean: I said no, dammit!
GO: WE RP NOW!
Dean: If you don't shut up, I swear to God...
GO: WE RP NOW, BITCH!
Dean: That's it, Reigns!
GO: WE RP NO-
(Roman Reigns spears GO, causing him to go flying twenty feet away, knocking his ass out cold)
Dean: Okay, now chop chop!
(All the contestants except for GO, who is knocked out, run over to the front of the building as
they try to think of a way to get in)
Grass: So how are we gonna get in here?
Chip: I say we use someone to bash through the door!
Ally: Say, that's actually a great idea!
(Ally then grabs Heo and starts bashing his head into the door repeatedly)
Meta: Uh, I'm not sure that's working at all!
Ally: Okay! *lets go of Heo*
Dark: I put dynamite on the door.
Meta: Wait, did you just say dynamite?
Bat: Where did you get it from?
Dark: Don't know, but it's about to explode in less than ten seconds.
(Everyone runs to take cover except for Dark as he feels he is too Max Goof to run away, as the door blows off)
Toast: It's open!
(The contestants then enter the building, and inside are towers of boxes of Twinkies all over the place)
Grass: Twinkie collecting time!
(The teams then spread out a they each get their own carts.)
Heo: Guys, you go that way, I'll go the other way.
Grass: What for?
Heo: Nothing, man. Just think we should be spread out. Hehe
Grass: ..... Um, alright then. You go ahead, let's go, Chip.
Toast: *In Confessional* So I said we should stick together and collect the twinkies but stinky ass Dark was all like “I too Max Goof fo’ dat!” So I was like fine bish. So…. I ate em!
Heo: *In Confessional* I saw the Plebs splitting up, so I took this as the perfect opportunity to catch up with Ally.
(Ally is seen on top of a tall mountain of twinkies as she looks around, only for Heo to reach the top and greet her)
Heo: *breathing heavily* I….. Finally….. Made it…..
Ally: OMG! Ew! What are YOU doing up here!?
Heo: I came to tell you my true feelings, babe!
Ally: Did you seriously just call me your “babe”!? Like, ew! Get away from me!
Heo: Ally, listen, I know we have had our differences in the past, but these past 10 days of my life have been so precious because out of the fifteen people on this island, there was ONE person who stood out most in a gleaming, sparkly light: You!
Ally: Huh? Uh, why me? Like, I’m boring and bipolar! Shouldn’t you be busy flirting with girls that are more…. I don’t know, your type?
Heo: But you don’t understand, Ally, you ARE my type! You are the perfect girl I have been searching for all my life, and now, I have finally found you! And NOTHING is gonna stop me from getting in bed with you- err I mean capture your heart.
(Heo then suddenly realizes that Ally is nowhere to be seen)
Heo: Huh, where did she go!? Oh no! She didn’t jump off and kill herself did she!?
(Heo then looks over the edge and sees Ally all the way back down, laying in the Team Pleb’s cart as her team rides off as she waves at Heo)
Heo: Aw, she never even got to express her true feelings.
(Meanwhile, Bat is scavenging through a pile of twinkies before getting interrupted by GO)
Bat: Let’s see here, 15 of these times the size of our cart gives us just enough for 6,485 twinkies! I am such a smart one!
Bat: *throws twinkies all over the place* Aaaaaaahh! What the! What the heck, GO. Liek, r00d much!?
GO: I SEE A TWINKIE, YES I DO! I SEE A TWINKIE, YES IT’S TRUE!
Bat: Liek, stop!
GO: HEHEHE! YOU SHOULD STOP BEING SUCH A TWINKIE AND BE MORE LIKE FAST EDDIE’S!
Bat: Fast who?
GO: FAST EDDIE’S, BITCH!
RJ: What is a Fast Eddie’s?
GO: RJ YOU HAM WHERE TF DID YOU COME FROM AND FAST EDDIE’S IS THE BEST FOOD PLACE EVER!
RJ: Whatever. I just came to tell Bat that we are almost done filling up our cart.
RJ: *In Confessional* You know, we may actually pull an upset and go from being the underdog team to the dominant team! Just like on this one season of #Survivor!
(Bat then starts walking back, but accidentally trips over a box)
Bat: Ow! r00d!
(But little does he know is that he just knocked off the keg for a tall mountain of Hostess boxes, which starts falling down towards him)
Bat: Uh oh…
(The boxes then pile up on top of Bat, as the scene switches to the Plebs as they reach the entrance with their cart full)
Rocker: Okay, so I think we have enough, there is no way in Hell the other teams have more than us. And where tf is Bat?
RJ: I don’t know, liek, I just told him to meet with us a couple minutes ago.
Rocker: Well oh fuckin well were getting out of here anyways.
RJ: But- But-
Rocker: No but’s bitch, we are winning this bitch and there is nothing stopping us, not even Batbitch.
Dark: You guys might wanna be quick about it.
Dark: Cus I just put a bomb on this place and it’s gonna go off in about less than 60 seconds.
Rocker: Well then turn it off or something.
Dark: I would, but I’m just too…… Max Goof to do that.
Ally: We’re all gonna die! Yay!
Rocker: Not on my watch!
(Rocker pushes the cart out of the building as Dean Ambrose’s voice can be heard on an intercom all over the building)
Dean: Attention contestants, normally I wouldn’t warn you about this but since we have safety contract policies in our hands, I kinda have no choice, so anyways, it seems like Mr. Too Max Goof over here set a bomb that is gonna blow up the entire building in about 30 seconds give or take. So yeah, you might wanna GTFO!
(Team Pip and Team Kike immediately roll their carts outside as all three teams are seen running next to each other with their carts as an explosion of the buildig blowing up is seen in the background)
Grass: Oh wow, we actually made it out alive!
Meta: You’re not kidding! That was a close one.
(Dean Ambrose arrives at the scene)
Dean: Congratulations on making it out alive! Now, time to start counting them twinkies! Oh Roman! Counting time!
(10 minutes pass by as Roman Reigns tallies up the results and hands them to Ambrose)
Dean: And the results are in! With a total of 2,339 twinkies in their cart, first place goes to……… Team Plebs!
Rocker: Told you we had it!
Dean: And, in second place with a total of 1,998 twinkies as opposed to last place team’s 1,566 twinkies, goes to……………. Team Kike!
Toast: Fucking kikes!
Dean: So Team Pip, for the second time in a row, it’s the elimination ceremony for you guys! Say, where’s Bat?
(Bat is seen crawling out of the debris from the building, all burnt and tore up, as he slowly makes his way to the others)
Bat: I’m right…… Here!
Dean: Woah momma you don’t look so good!
(Bat then falls onto his team’s cart, and a small flame on his shirt lights their twinkies up on fire, causing them all to melt)
RJ: Uh oh, this can’t be good. :O
Dean: Well then…… Since it seems the Plebs don’t have any twinkies any more, they lose!
Rocker: NO NO NO NO! You can’t do this! We fuckin won! Fair and square, bitch!
Dean: Rules are rules, and the rules say, your ass is heading to the elimination ceremony tomorrow night, bub!
Rocker: *In Confessional* Well fuck. Looks like my time here on the island is over. To my family and friends watching at home, did you miss me? You didn’t!? Well too bad cus I’m coming back home, bitch!
RJ: *In Confessional* This vote seemed pretty easy cus Rocker is the obvious choice. But Bat did cost us the challenge and blindsiding him would be, to quote the admins: #BestForBusiness!
(Elimination Ceremony- Day 12)
Dean: Welcome to your second elimination ceremony of the season, Plebs! As you may already know the drill, when I call your name you-
Rocker: Yeah yeah we get it just give them whatever handout it is this time so I can get this over with already.
Dean: Anyways….. The following get a “I Hate Seth Rollins” t-shirt as a key to safety tonight. First one goes to……….
Ally: NOOOOOOOO! I don’t wanna stay! Jk! :3
Dean: Next one goes to…………………… RJ! *tosses t-shirt to RJ*
RJ: Liek, yay! I should totes wrap this shirt around my head to make it look like a buff just like on #Survivor!
Dean: And the lost t-shirt goes to……………….
Rocker: Stop teasing and give it to Bat already ffs!
Dean: Rocker! *tosses t-shirt*
Rocker: Wait, tf!?
Dean: You are safe! Which means that Bat, the Hurl of Shame awaits your fate.
(Bat then stands up as he slowly walks towards the dock with his head down in shame)
Ally: *In Confessional* So like, RJ and I decided to keep Rocker at last minute because like, Rocker seemed so sad and we felt like being the nice people we are by doing the right thing! Yay us!
(Bat is then seen sitting on top the Hurl of Shame as Roman Reigns has his hand on the lever, ready to launch by Dean’s orders)
Dean: Any final words, TWINKIE? :D
Bat: *gasp* r00d!
(Roman Reigns then releases the catapult, launching Bat sky high into the air)
Dean: Four have plummeted, and eleven are still clawing their way to a million dollars! Who’s dreams will be crushed via the Hurl of Shame next? Tune in next week to find out on Total! Drama! Balls of Steel!!!