Chris: I’m Chris McLean I’m comin’ at ya right here at Camp Wawanakwa! And in only a few minutes 22 fresh and fame hungry teens will be hitting this campground for a chance to win $100,000! 8 weeks of long gruesome challenges, friendships, epic fails and most of all backstabs will determine one winner. The beautiful scenery * random waste and a pigeon with a soda can wrapped around his neck are shown * and good food offered by Chef will help our campers along the way.
Chef: Bon Appetite* hands a plate with cockroach on it *
Cockroach: Help me* gets put in a blender *
Chris: *standing by the dock* MONEY, FAME, FORTURNE, BACKSTABS WILL ALL SOON BECOME WHAT MAKES……… TOTAL………DRAMA…ISLAND!
====================DOCK=========================
Chris: First to camp is TYLER!!!
Tyler: * Rides on jet skis and when the ship stops he continues to go ahead and falls off the dock after Chris dodges *
Chris: Nice wipe out man.
Tyler: * climbing back up* Thanks man it totally was wicked.
Chris: BETH!
Beth: * walks out star struck and surprised she’s even on TV * OMG! Hiiii I’m Beth. Nice to meet you.
Tyler: Sup Brah.
Beth: Wow Chris you seemed taller on TV honestly. You’re like so short it’s weird.
Chris: Uhhh thanks I guess. Anyway, next up is… COURTNEY!
Courtney: Hello nice to meet you all. I hope you’ll be there for when I make the finals.
Chris: Nice but blunt I like it.
Courtney: I don’t want to be harsh but why is this island so crappy looking?
Chris: Never promised anything expect for a hot tub and air conditioning.
Courtney: Whatever I long as I get my money.
Chris: Fierce I like it. Next up is……….. DJ!
DJ: * walks out with his bags confused * Uh hey man I thought we had a mansion?
Chris: There is a mansion but I’ll be occupying it.
DJ: Whatever you say man but my momma said never trust someone who lies to you.
Chris: Well you’re in for a rude awakening* chuckles *. Next is Gwen.
Gwen: Ok you must be kidding me. This looks like hell actually no this looks worse than that.
Chris: Well you’re free to leave but… you signed a contract. * Pulls the contract out *
Gwen: * Rips it up * Well guess I’ll be leaving * turns around to find the boat she came in long gone*
Chris: * pulls out another contract* Let’s not be silly I made copies do you think I’m stupid.
Gwen: One could hope.
Beth: Hiiii I’m Beth.
Gwen: Good for you.
Tyler: * whispers to DJ * She’s hot.
Chris: Say welcome to… Lindsay!
*Seductive background music plays and the camera highlights parts of Lindsay’s body*
Lindsay: Hi Benny.
Chris: My name is Chris and Lindsay meet your fellow competitors.
* The camera pans over showing the guys are aroused*
Lindsay: Umm competitor?
Chris: It’s a good thing your pretty.
Lindsay: Yeah I know right.
Chris: Man she is going to bring in the male demographic. Anyway, next to arrive is Trent.
Trent: Thanks man great to be here so excited to be here can’t wait to mingle.
Chris: All right dude.
Trent: * stands next to Gwen * What’s up?
Gwen: You leaving.
Trent: Ok then * looks away worried and somewhat scared *
Gwen: * Looks back at Trent and smiles *
Chris: Here comes the party man Geoff!!!
Geoff: Sup man can’t wait to get crackin’. This the place yo? Pretty dope love the summer camp vibe.
Gwen: Ok he must be a idiot.
Chris: Great to here man should’ve warned the viewers a lot of you guys would be peeved at this place.
Geoff: No way man this is awesome I’m loving it.
Chris: Alright great man.
* A loud sound which sound awfully like a metal band goes from afar and the next contestant arrives*
Chris: It’s Duncan!
Duncan: Hell no man. *Pulls out his pocketknife* I’m not living here.
Chris: I’m sure juvie will gladly take you back.
Duncan: You know that you bring juvie up this looks less terrible.
Chris: Ok next to the Island is Heather.
Heather: * steps off the boat with her sunglasses shining and a evil glare intimidating almost every contestant expect for Gwen and Duncan *
Beth: * bravely runs up to Heather* Hi I’m Beth *her braces cause her to spittle* nice to meet you.
Heather: Eww get away.
Courtney: * puts her hand out * Hello nice to meet you.
Heather: * walks past *
Courtney: Rude.
Duncan: Someone seems a tad bit on edge.
Heather: Mind dropping dead sometime or like now?
Duncan: Feisty I love it.
Heather: Pig.
Chris: Alright let’s say welcome to LESHAWNA!
Leshawna: Oh yeah that’s right I came to win. Dabs DJ up Hey brotha from anothta motha. What ya’ll up to?
Geoff: Chillin’.
Duncan: Killin’.
Leshawna: Oh that’s wassup baby.
Chris: Ok things are getting interesting say hello to… Bridgette!
Bridgette: *gets off the boat holding her surfboard * Hey what’s up guys?
Geoff: Whoa! Hey what’s up?
Bridgette: *turns around and her surfboard nearly hits everyone else* Hey I’m Bridgette.
* Most of the guys try to get ahold of Bridgette and she accidentally knocks Tyler into Heather and they fall in the water.
Chris: Well that’s two for two.
Heather: *in the water * Surfer girl is gonna get it.
Chris: Man on man this is getting better by the minute next up is Noah.
Noah: Great so this is original summer camp, a bunch of teenagers someone just needs to get caught having…
Duncan: * grabs Noah *Shut it dweeb.
Noah: And here comes the local punk bully. Anyway, Chris you did get my memo about my life threating allergies if I’m going to be here I better be protected.
Chris: Production might’ve gotten it I think.
Noah: Good.
Beth: Hi nice to meet you Noah.
Noah: Could you look any less like Velma from Scooby-Doo?
Beth: Aww.
Heather: And I thought I was the mean one.
Chris: Next up is OWEN!
Owen: WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOO! Man I can’t believe I’m here in this place this is just so awesome man this is just wow * hugs Gwen, Tyler, Noah, Courtney and Lindsay *
Noah: Crushing my bones.
Courtney: Nice to meet you I’m Courtney.
Owen: * shakes her hand* Nice to meet you I’m Owen WOOOOOOHOOOOO.
Gwen: The woohoos never stop do they?
Owen: No way man I’m just here to gave a good thing we should hang out and party.
Gwen: Oh man oh man how could I pass that that up?
Geoff: *higfives Owen* Alright dude let’s party!!!!!
Owen: WOOOHOOO! * chest bumps Geoff and sends him flying back *
Geoff: Wicked!
* Chris starts to hear some heavy breathing on his back *
Chris: GAHH! What the hell is your problem? Anyway, this is Harold.
Harold: Wow a summer camp my mad skills will surely without doubt build on this foundation. * Looks at Leshawna’s butt * Is their something back there?
Leshawna: Yeah a whole lotta booty!
Harold: You’re loud and boogie.
Leshawna: Oh HELL NO YOU GETTIN IT NOW YA SCRAWY NUT!
* DJ and Bridgette instantly hold Leshawna back as Harold tries to look intimidating*
Chris: NEXT IS EZEKEIL!
Ezekiel: Whoa what’s all this eh?
Chris: Listen lay low for a bit and try not to do anything stupid your homeschooled and this is a rare time you’ll hear me say this I feel bad for you so just don’t do anything dumb.
Ezekiel: Ok I think I can manage Eh.
Chris: Next are Katie and Sadie.
Katie: OMG SADIE WERE HERE!!!
Sadie: I KNOW RIGHT!
Katie and Sadie: Eeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Noah: Why if it isn’t teen spirit.
Katie: We have so much spirit.
Sadie: Totes.
Noah: Wow must be so amazing.
Katie: It is.
Gwen: * whispers to Noah * They seem a tad bit….
Noah: Stupid.
Gwen: Yup.
Chris: Let’s welcome Cody or better known as the CODESTER!
Cody: All right. * Looks at all the girls *. What’s up ladies, your knight in shining armor is here.
Lindsay: * giggles *
Cody: *walks up to Leshawna * You seem like all types of woman.
Leshawna: I am, now walk along short stuff.
Cody: Whatever you say babe.
Chris: What a little casanova. Anyway, the female brawn is here… EVA!
Eva: 1,200, 1,201 *drops her weights *. Great how nice as long as I can lift my weights.
DJ: Man she is scary.
Duncan: You two would be a match in heaven.
DJ: No way man she’d probably rip me in half.
Chris: Pretty boy Justin his here.
Justin: * walks off the boat and all eyes on him some of the guys and even the girls you wouldn’t expect are staring at his perfect face and body *
Owen: Hey man how’s it going?
Justin: Good.
Owen: Your hot I mean uh err HOT!* slaps head * Dangit.
Justin: Don’t worry I already know. * smiles and most of the girls quiver to the ground *
Chris: And last and possibly very least IZZY!
Izzy: * jumps off and hits her head on the dock *
Guys: * laughing *
Tyler: Now that’s a wipe out.
Courtney: * helps Izzy up* Shut up guys she could have a concussion.
Izzy: WOW THAT WAS AWESOME! Is there karaoke? Can we eat? Uhhh, are their bears here? LET’S PARTY!
Owen: She is awesome.
Geoff: Man a party would rock!
Chris: Settle down now that you’re all here let’s take a photo. For you know promotions.
* Everyone stands on the dock and gets into their poses which will soon become the iconic photo for the new and upcoming reality show *
* After Chris snaps the photo everyone falls into the water *
Chris: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Man that was worth it. Now dry off and head to camp.
=========================Camp=========================
Chris: Now there are twenty-two of you in total so teams will be split into eleven. Every few days a challenge will be in place and someone will be eliminated from the game.
Courtney: And the sleeping arrangements?
Chris: Their will be two camp split between girls and boys.
Duncan: Can me, valley girl, blondie, Ms. Type A and surfer girl share a cabin?
Tyler: NO FAIR! You’re taking all the good-looking ones.
Heather: As if I would sleep in the same room as him anyway.
Duncan: Don’t knock it just yet.
Lindsay: Who’s there?
Chris: Now for teams. Move to the left if your name is called… Trent, Heather, Gwen, Owen, Lindsay, Leshawna, Justin, Cody, Izzy, Beth and Noah.
Katie: Same team Sadie!
Sadie: Lucky us.
Chris: In retrospect it would’ve been smarter to split you guys up.
Sadie: Wait NO! We like have to be together we’ll die if we aren’t.
Chris: Fine. Now the eleven I just called your team is………… THE SCREAMING GOPHERS!
Izzy: OH! I love Gophers.
Owen: Me too!
Noah: Yeah so great were a wannabe beaver. * rolls eyes *
Chris: The next team is Katie, Sadie, Tyler, Eva, DJ, Harold, Geoff, Courtney, Duncan, Ezekiel and Bridgette you are the.. KILLER BASS!
Harold: Were totally going to fin off the competition.
Duncan: * puts Harold in a headlock * Try another pun and your dead.
Harold: * barely breathing * Ok
Chris: Ok go unpack you have one hour.
Lindsay: Ok do the cabins have personal bathrooms?
Chris: Nope.
Lindsay: But like I’m the hottest so like can I use yours?
Chris: Nah man your gonna have to share.
Lindsay: umm, pasty face (Gwen) can I use your spot?
Gwen: *death stares her*
Lindsay: Never mind.
=======================CABINS-==========================
Geoff: Aww man, dude this is gonna rock! Girls everywhere and 16 year-old teens unsupervised. This is a total recipe for awesomeness!
Duncan: Hey as long as no one gets in my space or face I’ll just chill until I win. Matter of fact who do you think is the hottest?
DJ: That Courtney girl man oh man back home she’s a girl you’d take to see your parents.
Duncan: Too goodie -goodie the Heather chick has got the package man.
Harold: I agree although I try and go for girls most won’t expect like Katie and the orange haired one, much less competition.
Duncan: As if you could get them * laughs *
Harold” I’ll get someone I promise you that.
Duncan: Whatever you say man.
Geoff: Lindsay and Bridgette are the hottest man blonde chicks are total babes dude I hope I get one of them.
Harold: Chances are girls like that fall for the jock type like our teammate.
Tyler: * tries to do a backflip and hits his head on the bed frame *
Duncan: Yeah total jock * laughs *
Heather: Eww! This place is gross I want to vomit.
Gwen: Your not the only one you know?
Heather: Ok so it’s still gross.
Izzy: Are you kidding me?!!?!? It has total class I just killed a cockroach like that’s awesome.
Heather: For you it many be. * Walks off *
Leshawna: Don’t sweat her ya’ll I know her type. Just one of those bossy mean girl types.
Gwen: Don’t worry I could care less about girls like that.
Leshawna: Girls like that are the kind I end up fighting just all bark no bites I’m tellin’ ya. But I’m going to give everyone a fair chance it’s only day one.
Gwen: Good luck with that my plan is the total opposite.
Chris: * on loudspeaker *OH WAIT I FORGOT GUYS THE LITTLE OUTHOUSE OVER THERE FOR CONFESSIONAL! SO SPILL HOW YOU FEEL WHENEVER!
=====================Confessional========================
Gwen: So this sucks. I hate it so far and really I don’t care about anyone here. I guess I’ll just wait it out until they vote me off for being anti-social.
Owen: This is great hot girls, hot guys I mean cool dudes that you can play with I mean…
Heather: I’m just here to lie, cheat and steal that’s the motto.
DJ: Momma if you see this I’m doing this for you I’m gonna win momma. * Starts to tear up and uses his hand to cover the camera * I don’t want you to see your boy like this.
Eva: As long as no one pushes it this will be easy in and out.
Lindsay: * peeing * Hey when did you get here?
============== CRAFT SERVICES TENT==================
Chef: Now you greedy lugs I serve you three times a day and when I do you eat what I make you eat.
Noah: * whispers to Owen * Guess I’ll starve myself this summer.
Chef: WHAT WAS THAT PINKY AND THE BRAIN!?
Noah: Nothing just get my taste buds ready to endure that uhhh delicious cuisine.
Chef: My eyes are on you.
*The contestants are in line getting their food as each one has a separate complaint*
Bridgette: I’m vegetarian is their a lot of meat product in this?
Chef: Even the meat isn’t meat.
Bridgette: So is it tofu?
Chef: It’s better than you don’t know.
Bridgette: Your right about that.
Harold: I’m allergic to a list of thing would you like me to list them so we can work out some meal plan?
Beth: Me too I don’t want to get sick.
Chef: * dumps a big portion of slops onto both their trays *
Harold: Never mind then. *Walks off with Beth* I would’ve used my mad skills on him but it’s the first day and I don’t want to draw attention to myself.
Beth: So true.
Gwen: Did mine just move?
Chef: * hits it with a mallet *
Gwen: *walks off and sits down *
Trent: I guess you got the haunted food.
Gwen: Yeah I guess so smiles as Trent turns back to his conversion with Justin and Noah*
Justin: Yeah I’m I very well be the hottest guy on earth.
Noah: * roll eyes * Too bad I haven’t you seen in Hot Teen Lame Boy Bi-monthly’s cover spread of the lame and the self-conscious idiot fame boy.
Justin: Eh soon enough you will.
Noah: * looks surprised by Justin’s ignorance * Ok then.
Chris: Ok contestants’ head to your first challenge and put on your bathing suits.
DJ: I hope it’ll be easy.
========================THE CLIFF=======================
DJ: Oh **** that **** man!
=========================THE END=======================