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Chris: I’m Chris McLean I’m comin’ at ya right here at Camp Wawanakwa! And in only a few minutes 22 fresh and fame hungry teens will be hitting this campground for a chance to win $100,000! 8 weeks of long gruesome challenges, friendships, epic fails and most of all backstabs will determine one winner. The beautiful scenery * random waste and a pigeon with a soda can wrapped around his neck are shown * and good food offered by Chef will help our campers along the way.

Chef: Bon Appetite* hands a plate with cockroach on it *

 

Cockroach: Help me* gets put in a blender *

 

Chris: *standing by the dock* MONEY, FAME, FORTURNE, BACKSTABS WILL ALL SOON BECOME WHAT MAKES……… TOTAL………DRAMA…ISLAND!

====================DOCK=========================

Chris: First to camp is TYLER!!!

 

Tyler: * Rides on jet skis and when the ship stops he continues to go ahead and falls off the dock after Chris dodges *

 

Chris: Nice wipe out man.

 

Tyler: * climbing back up* Thanks man it totally was wicked.

 

Chris: BETH!

 

Beth: * walks out star struck and surprised she’s even on TV * OMG! Hiiii I’m Beth. Nice to meet you.

 

Tyler: Sup Brah.

 

Beth: Wow Chris you seemed taller on TV honestly. You’re like so short it’s weird.

 

Chris: Uhhh thanks I guess. Anyway, next up is… COURTNEY!

 

Courtney:  Hello nice to meet you all. I hope you’ll be there for when I make the finals.

 

Chris: Nice but blunt I like it.

 

Courtney: I don’t want to be harsh but why is this island so crappy looking?

 

Chris: Never promised anything expect for a hot tub and air conditioning.

 

Courtney: Whatever I long as I get my money.

 

Chris: Fierce I like it. Next up is……….. DJ!

 

DJ: * walks out with his bags confused * Uh hey man I thought we had a mansion?

 

Chris: There is a mansion but I’ll be occupying it.

 

DJ: Whatever you say man but my momma said never trust someone who lies to you.

 

Chris: Well you’re in for a rude awakening* chuckles *. Next is Gwen.

 

Gwen: Ok you must be kidding me. This looks like hell actually no this looks worse than that.

 

Chris: Well you’re free to leave but… you signed a contract. * Pulls the contract out *

 

Gwen: * Rips it up * Well guess I’ll be leaving * turns around to find the boat she came in long gone*

 

Chris: * pulls out another contract* Let’s not be silly I made copies do you think I’m stupid.

 

Gwen: One could hope.

 

Beth: Hiiii I’m Beth.

 

Gwen: Good for you.

 

Tyler: * whispers to DJ * She’s hot.

 

Chris: Say welcome to… Lindsay!

 

*Seductive background music plays and the camera highlights parts of Lindsay’s body*

 

Lindsay: Hi Benny.

 

Chris: My name is Chris and Lindsay meet your fellow competitors.

 

* The camera pans over showing the guys are aroused*

 

Lindsay: Umm competitor?

 

Chris: It’s a good thing your pretty.

 

Lindsay: Yeah I know right.

 

Chris: Man she is going to bring in the male demographic. Anyway, next to arrive is Trent.

 

Trent: Thanks man great to be here so excited to be here can’t wait to mingle.

 

Chris: All right dude.

 

Trent: * stands next to Gwen * What’s up?

 

Gwen: You leaving.

 

Trent: Ok then * looks away worried and somewhat scared *

 

Gwen: * Looks back at Trent and smiles *

 

Chris: Here comes the party man Geoff!!!

 

Geoff: Sup man can’t wait to get crackin’. This the place yo? Pretty dope love the summer camp vibe.

 

Gwen: Ok he must be a idiot.

 

Chris: Great to here man should’ve warned the viewers a lot of you guys would be peeved at this place.

 

Geoff: No way man this is awesome I’m loving it.

 

Chris: Alright great man.

 

* A loud sound which sound awfully like a metal band goes from afar and the next contestant arrives*

 

Chris: It’s Duncan!

 

Duncan: Hell no man. *Pulls out his pocketknife* I’m not living here.

 

Chris: I’m sure juvie will gladly take you back.

 

Duncan: You know that you bring juvie up this looks less terrible.

 

Chris: Ok next to the Island is Heather.

 

Heather: * steps off the boat with her sunglasses shining and a evil glare intimidating almost every contestant expect for Gwen and Duncan *

 

Beth: * bravely runs up to Heather* Hi I’m Beth *her braces cause her to spittle* nice to meet you.

 

Heather: Eww get away.

 

Courtney: * puts her hand out * Hello nice to meet you.

 

Heather: * walks past *

Courtney: Rude.

 

Duncan: Someone seems a tad bit on edge.

 

Heather: Mind dropping dead sometime or like now?

 

Duncan: Feisty I love it.

 

Heather: Pig.

 

Chris: Alright let’s say welcome to LESHAWNA!

 

Leshawna: Oh yeah that’s right I came to win. Dabs DJ up Hey brotha from anothta motha. What ya’ll up to?

 

Geoff: Chillin’.

 

Duncan: Killin’.

 

Leshawna: Oh that’s wassup baby.

 

Chris: Ok things are getting interesting say hello to… Bridgette!

 

Bridgette: *gets off the boat holding her surfboard * Hey what’s up guys?

 

Geoff: Whoa! Hey what’s up?

 

Bridgette: *turns around and her surfboard nearly hits everyone else* Hey I’m Bridgette.

 

* Most of the guys try to get ahold of Bridgette and she accidentally knocks Tyler into Heather and they fall in the water.

 

Chris: Well that’s two for two.

 

Heather: *in the water * Surfer girl is gonna get it.

 

Chris: Man on man this is getting better by the minute next up is Noah.

Noah: Great so this is original summer camp, a bunch of teenagers someone just needs to get caught having…

 

Duncan: * grabs Noah *Shut it dweeb.

 

Noah: And here comes the local punk bully. Anyway, Chris you did get my memo about my life threating allergies if I’m going to be here I better be protected.

 

Chris: Production might’ve gotten it I think.

 

Noah: Good.

 

Beth: Hi nice to meet you Noah.

 

Noah: Could you look any less like Velma from Scooby-Doo?

 

Beth: Aww.

 

Heather: And I thought I was the mean one.

 

Chris: Next up is OWEN!

 

Owen: WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOO! Man I can’t believe I’m here in this place this is just so awesome man this is just wow * hugs Gwen, Tyler, Noah, Courtney and Lindsay *

 

Noah: Crushing my bones.

 

Courtney: Nice to meet you I’m Courtney.

 

Owen: * shakes her hand*  Nice to meet you I’m Owen WOOOOOOHOOOOO.

 

Gwen: The woohoos never stop do they?

 

Owen: No way man I’m just here to gave a good thing we should hang out and party.

 

Gwen: Oh man oh man how could I pass that that up?

 

Geoff: *higfives Owen* Alright dude let’s party!!!!!

 

Owen: WOOOHOOO! * chest bumps Geoff and sends him flying back *

 

Geoff: Wicked!

 

* Chris starts to hear some heavy breathing on his back *

 

Chris: GAHH! What the hell is your problem? Anyway, this is Harold.

 

Harold: Wow a summer camp my mad skills will surely without doubt build on this foundation. * Looks at Leshawna’s butt * Is their something back there?

 

Leshawna: Yeah a whole lotta booty!

 

Harold: You’re loud and boogie.

 

Leshawna: Oh HELL NO YOU GETTIN IT NOW YA SCRAWY NUT!

 

* DJ and Bridgette instantly hold Leshawna back as Harold tries to look intimidating*

 

Chris: NEXT IS EZEKEIL!

 

Ezekiel: Whoa what’s all this eh?

 

Chris: Listen lay low for a bit and try not to do anything stupid your homeschooled and this is a rare time you’ll hear me say this I feel bad for you so just don’t do anything dumb.

 

Ezekiel: Ok I think I can manage Eh.

 

Chris: Next are Katie and Sadie.

 

Katie: OMG SADIE WERE HERE!!!

 

Sadie: I KNOW RIGHT!

 

Katie and Sadie: Eeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

 

Noah: Why if it isn’t teen spirit.

 

Katie: We have so much spirit.

 

Sadie: Totes.

 

Noah: Wow must be so amazing.

 

Katie: It is.

 

Gwen: * whispers to Noah * They seem a tad bit….

 

Noah: Stupid.

 

Gwen: Yup.

 

Chris: Let’s welcome Cody or better known as the CODESTER!

 

Cody: All right. * Looks at all the girls *. What’s up ladies, your knight in shining armor is here.

 

Lindsay: * giggles *

 

Cody: *walks up to Leshawna * You seem like all types of woman.

 

Leshawna: I am, now walk along short stuff.

 

Cody: Whatever you say babe.

 

Chris: What a little casanova. Anyway, the female brawn is here… EVA!

 

Eva: 1,200, 1,201 *drops her weights *. Great how nice as long as I can lift my weights.

 

DJ: Man she is scary.

Duncan: You two would be a match in heaven.

 

DJ: No way man she’d probably rip me in half.

 

Chris: Pretty boy Justin his here.

 

Justin: * walks off the boat and all eyes on him some of the guys and even the girls you wouldn’t expect are staring at his perfect face and body  *

 

Owen: Hey man how’s it going?

 

Justin: Good.

 

Owen: Your hot I mean uh err HOT!*  slaps head * Dangit.

 

Justin: Don’t worry I already know. * smiles and most of the girls quiver to the ground *

 

Chris: And last and possibly very least IZZY!

 

Izzy: * jumps off and hits her head on the dock *

 

Guys: * laughing *

 

Tyler: Now that’s a wipe out.

 

Courtney: * helps Izzy up* Shut up guys she could have a concussion.

 

Izzy: WOW THAT WAS AWESOME! Is there karaoke? Can we eat? Uhhh, are their bears here? LET’S PARTY!

 

Owen: She is awesome.

 

Geoff: Man a party would rock!

 

Chris: Settle down now that you’re all here let’s take a photo. For you know promotions.

 

* Everyone stands on the dock and gets into their poses which will soon become the iconic photo for the new and upcoming reality show *

 

* After Chris snaps the photo everyone falls into the water *

 

Chris: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Man that was worth it. Now dry off and head to camp.

 

=========================Camp=========================

 

Chris: Now there are twenty-two of you in total so teams will be split into eleven. Every few days a challenge will be in place and someone will be eliminated from the game.

 

Courtney: And the sleeping arrangements?

 

Chris: Their will be two camp split between girls and boys.

 

Duncan: Can me, valley girl, blondie, Ms. Type A and surfer girl share a cabin?

 

Tyler: NO FAIR! You’re taking all the good-looking ones.

 

Heather: As if I would sleep in the same room as him anyway.

 

Duncan: Don’t knock it just yet.

 

Lindsay: Who’s there?

 

Chris: Now for teams. Move to the left if your name is called… Trent, Heather, Gwen, Owen, Lindsay, Leshawna, Justin, Cody, Izzy, Beth and Noah.

 

Katie: Same team Sadie!

 

Sadie: Lucky us.

 

Chris: In retrospect it would’ve been smarter to split you guys up.

Sadie: Wait NO! We like have to be together we’ll die if we aren’t.

 

Chris: Fine. Now the eleven I just called your team is………… THE SCREAMING GOPHERS!

 

Izzy: OH! I love Gophers.

 

Owen: Me too!

 

Noah: Yeah so great were a wannabe beaver. * rolls eyes *

 

Chris: The next team is Katie, Sadie, Tyler, Eva, DJ, Harold, Geoff, Courtney, Duncan, Ezekiel and Bridgette you are the.. KILLER BASS!

 

Harold: Were totally going to fin off the competition.

 

Duncan: * puts Harold in a headlock * Try another pun and your dead.

 

Harold: * barely breathing * Ok

 

Chris: Ok go unpack you have one hour.

 

Lindsay: Ok do the cabins have personal bathrooms?

 

Chris: Nope.

 

Lindsay: But like I’m the hottest so like can I use yours?

 

Chris: Nah man your gonna have to share.

 

Lindsay: umm, pasty face (Gwen) can I use your spot?

 

Gwen: *death stares her*

 

Lindsay: Never mind.

=======================CABINS-==========================

Geoff: Aww man, dude this is gonna rock! Girls everywhere and 16 year-old teens unsupervised. This is a total recipe for awesomeness!

Duncan: Hey as long as no one gets in my space or face I’ll just chill until I win. Matter of fact who do you think is the hottest?

DJ: That Courtney girl man oh man back home she’s a girl you’d take to see your parents.

Duncan: Too goodie -goodie the Heather chick has got the package man.

Harold: I agree although I try and go for girls most won’t expect like Katie and the orange haired one, much less competition.

Duncan: As if you could get them * laughs *

Harold” I’ll get someone I promise you that.

Duncan: Whatever you say man.

Geoff: Lindsay and Bridgette are the hottest man blonde chicks are total babes dude I hope I get one of them.

Harold: Chances are girls like that fall for the jock type like our teammate.

Tyler: * tries to do a backflip and hits his head on the bed frame *

Duncan: Yeah total jock * laughs *

 

Heather: Eww! This place is gross I want to vomit.

Gwen: Your not the only one you know?

Heather: Ok so it’s still gross.

Izzy: Are you kidding me?!!?!? It has total class I just killed a cockroach like that’s awesome.

Heather: For you it many be. * Walks off *

Leshawna: Don’t sweat her ya’ll I know her type. Just one of those bossy mean girl types.

Gwen: Don’t worry I could care less about girls like that.

Leshawna: Girls like that are the kind I end up fighting just all bark no bites I’m tellin’ ya. But I’m going to give everyone a fair chance it’s only day one.

Gwen: Good luck with that my plan is the total opposite.

 

Chris:  * on loudspeaker *OH WAIT I FORGOT GUYS THE LITTLE OUTHOUSE OVER THERE FOR CONFESSIONAL! SO SPILL HOW YOU FEEL WHENEVER!

 

 

=====================Confessional========================

Gwen: So this sucks. I hate it so far and really I don’t care about anyone here. I guess I’ll just wait it out until they vote me off for being anti-social.

 

Owen: This is great hot girls, hot guys I mean cool dudes that you can play with I mean…

 

Heather: I’m just here to lie, cheat and steal that’s the motto.

 

DJ: Momma if you see this I’m doing this for you I’m gonna win momma. * Starts to tear up and uses his hand to cover the camera * I don’t want you to see your boy like this.

 

Eva: As long as no one pushes it this will be easy in and out.

 

Lindsay: * peeing * Hey when did you get here?

 

============== CRAFT SERVICES TENT==================

Chef: Now you greedy lugs I serve you three times a day and when I do you eat what I make you eat.

 

Noah: * whispers to Owen * Guess I’ll starve myself this summer.

 

Chef: WHAT WAS THAT PINKY AND THE BRAIN!?

 

Noah: Nothing just get my taste buds ready to endure that uhhh delicious cuisine.

 

Chef: My eyes are on you.

 

*The contestants are in line getting their food as each one has a separate complaint*

 

Bridgette: I’m vegetarian is their a lot of meat product in this?

 

Chef: Even the meat isn’t meat.

 

Bridgette: So is it tofu?

Chef: It’s better than you don’t know.

 

Bridgette: Your right about that.

 

Harold: I’m allergic to a list of thing would you like me to list them so we can work out some meal plan?

 

Beth: Me too I don’t want to get sick.

 

Chef: * dumps a big portion of slops onto both their trays *

 

Harold: Never mind then. *Walks off with Beth* I would’ve used my mad skills on him but it’s the first day and I don’t want to draw attention to myself.

 

Beth: So true.

 

Gwen: Did mine just move?

 

Chef: * hits it with a mallet *

 

Gwen: *walks off and sits down *

 

Trent: I guess you got the haunted food.

 

Gwen: Yeah I guess so smiles as Trent turns back to his conversion with Justin and Noah*

 

Justin: Yeah I’m I very well be the hottest guy on earth.

 

Noah: * roll eyes * Too bad I haven’t you seen in Hot Teen Lame Boy Bi-monthly’s cover spread of the lame and the self-conscious idiot fame boy.

 

Justin: Eh soon enough you will.

 

Noah: * looks surprised by Justin’s ignorance * Ok then.

 

Chris: Ok contestants’ head to your first challenge and put on your bathing suits.

 

DJ: I hope it’ll be easy.

 

========================THE CLIFF=======================

 

DJ: Oh **** that **** man!

 

=========================THE END=======================

 

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