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A Long Time Ago, In a Wiki Chat Far, Far Away...

---The scene starts as Heo is on a mission for the rebels the the snow---

Heo: *on the radio* BOLIEVE to rebel base, BOLIEVE to rebel base

Rocky: Rebel base receiving

Heo: Look, I can't find any Taco Bells out here

Rocky: Look beaner you had one job, getting us tacos is like the only thing you're useful for!

Heo: But I can't find any!

Rocky: BS! There's gotta be a Taco Bell somewhere on this planet! Besides, you're Mexican this should be like a second nature to you!

Heo: But...

Rocky: Look kid we're not letting you back in unless you have tacos, rebel base out!

Heo: That hijo de puta...

---Heo continues walking but begins to get delerious---

Heo: *singing to himself* AND LET THEM SEE YOU... IN MEEEEE *a tear rolls down his eye*

Chwiis: *Appears as a vision* Yo fgt

Heo: Master Chwiis...

Chwiis: You will go to the Deghetto system... there you will meet Master Grassda, he will teach you the way of Shrek *vanishes*

Heo: Chwiiiiiis! CHWWWWWIIIIIIIIIS! *faints*

Rocky: Beaner... I mean BOLIEVE come in! BOLIEVE come in!

Heo: ...

Rocky: FFS he's dead isn't he!?


---The scene cuts to Darth Rocker's ship---

Rocker: Admiral, has the new troop of stormtroopers arrived?

Empire General: Lord Vader, yes they arrived this morning. They're a special kind known for their brutality. They're called 'socktoopers'.

---The socktroopers walk in---

CRACKER: Yo fellow Americans, I'm here to kill all jews, blacks, arabs, asians, beaners and especially those filthy rebels!

SPAZ: Eye agree with yoo, deth too them

GOsama: If they do not accept Islam as their salvation they will die by the sword!

DOUCHeo: Hola como estas?

AssyrianAsylum: I am here to serve you Rimie... I mean Rocker

Pikachu is Not A Jew: Btw we found the location of the rebel base... that will be $20

Rocker: Sorry jan, I spent it all on Nikes


Pikajew is Not a Jew: ME NEEDS MONEYYYYY

Rocker: Tell me the location of the rebel base, jew

Pikajew: I AM NOT A JEW YOU RACIST

Rocker: You can’t be racist to pasty whites *force chokes Pikajew* Now tell me

Pikachu: Fine they’re on the planet Hoth

Rocker: Excellent! Plot a course for there, we're gonna go all reverse slavery on these white scum!


---The scene cuts to the in the snow again---

Rebel Pilot: Come in rebel base, I got us tacos!

Rocky: Great!

Pilot: Oh I also found that Mexican kid's body just lying there so I thought bring him in I guess

Rocky: *sighs* Fine.... let him in I guess


---Scene cuts to inside the rebel base, as Toast and Ally are sitting alone---

Ally: OMG, I haven't had sex for like a day, Toast I am so horny right now

Toast: TOAST!

Ally: Mmmmm it's so cold on this planet, it's time for me to get Toasty

Toast: TOAST!

Ally: Ok Toast, let's get this started

Toast: NO FLEX ZONE

Ally: But Toast...

Toast: THEY KNOW BETTER

Ally: Please Toast! I need this!

Toast: YOU NEED TOASTUS!

Ally: I WANT SEX I WANT SEX

---Just as Ally is saying that Heo enters in a wheelchair being pulled by Dark along with Fiz---

Heo: Me... can... sex

Ally: Ahaha, no thanks. You being ugly and all...

Fiz: OMG ALLY! HI!

Ally: Hi

Heo: *Trying to looks suave* Sooo... were you worried about me?

Ally: Eh not really. How did you survive anyway?

Heo: I prayed to Jesus and BOLIEVED

Rocky: *walks in* Ghey

Dark: Don't worry Heo

Heo: ...

Dark: The pilot got us tacos so we didn't go hungry

Heo: >.>

---Suddenly shots and screaming is heard from another room as socktroopers storm the base---

GOsama: *bursts in* Hands up infidels! This is a jihad! You are now hostages of the Islamic State!

Toast: STOP IN THE NAME OF TOAST *throws bits of Toast at GOsama, knocking him out*

Rocky: We gotta get to the Cashew Falcon! RUN!

Fiz: *screaming like a girl* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

---Toast, Rocky, Fiz and Ally all run out of the room---

Heo: (in wheelchair) Come on Dark go!

Dark: I'm too Max Goof to run for my life

Heo: .-.


---The scene cuts to Ally, Rocky, Fiz and Toast running up to the Cashew Falcon---

CRACKER: You aint getting away so easily you dirty foreigners

Rocky: OH SHIT! YOU SCARED THE FUCK OUT OF ME! *shoots him*

---They all get on the ship---

Rocky: That was close, let's get out of here Toast

Toast: TOAST!

---The Cashew Falcon takes off into space, as the scene cuts back to Heo and Dark---

Heo: Look Dark if we don't go now we're going to be captured by the Empire

Dark: *shrugs*

Heo: *sighs* I didn't want to do this...

Dark: Do what boi?

Heo: If you dont go this instant I'm going to have to demote you back to mod!

Dark: *Suddenly goes towards a rebel ship at 100 miles an hour*

Heo: Thank you

Dark: Happy boi?

Heo: Si, now get in *the ship takes off*


---The scene cuts back to the four in the Cashew Falcon---

Fiz: Woo we escaped! I brought some weed to celebrate!

Ally: OMG YAY! Maybe we can have an orgy as well!

Rocky: Hold up, we aint out of the woods yet

---They are attacked by more socktroopers in ships---

SPAZ: How doo yoo flie this?

GOsama: Time to do my 9-11 brothers proud! ALULULULULU!

Rocky: I know what to do *puts on sunglasses as he flies into an asteroid field*

Fiz: OMG RU CRAZY? WE'RE GONNA DIE IN HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Rocky: Have some weed and chill tf out! I got this!

Fiz: Ok *smokes*

SPAZ: *gets hit by an asteroid* THIS IZ RIGGED!

Rocky: One down one to go!

GOsama: ALLAH U AKBAR! *pulls an Al Qaeda and crashes head on into an asteroid*

Rocky: See bitches, I told you I had this

Ally: Omg you are making me sooooo horny right now

Rocky: B)

---Suddenly the engine stops and the ship crash lands on an asteroid---

Rocky: Ah shit!


---Meanwhile Heo and Dark are on their way to the Deghetto system---

Heo: Alright here we are *lands the ship*

---The pair walk through the local run-down ghettos, rubbish is spewn everywhere as Heo sees the local black 'hood gangs' eating chicken and eyeing him off like they are about to beat his ass---

Heo: *gulp* We better find Master Grassda quickly, I dont think we're welcome here.

Hooded figure: *taps Heo on the shoulder* How about you come in my van little boy... I have free candy!

Heo: Um... sorry. Aunt Consuela told me not to accept candy from strangers

Hooded guy: Look you're coming with me bitch *takes out a baseball bat and KOs Heo and Dark*

---The scene cuts to a Dark dungeon, Heo is strapped to an old table in the middle of the room---

Heo: *wakes up* Where... Where am I?

Hooded guy: That... doesn't matter. Why have you come here?

Heo: I was sent here to learn how to become a Jedi from Master Grassda

Hooded guy: Who sent you?

Heo: Master Chwiis sent me. Who are you?

Hooded guy: *Takes off his hood to reveal Grass* I am master Grassda

Heo: Holy shit dude you look like 900 years old!

Grass: Stfu I'm 19

Heo: Suuuuuuure

Grass: You're Mexican anyway so you're opinion is irrelevant

Heo: ;-;

Grass: So you want training hey?

Heo: Yes please

Grass: Ok how loose is your anus?

Heo: Ummmm, not very...

Grass: Ok, well it looks like we've got a lot of training to do then *puts a strap-on on*

Heo: *gulp*


---The scene cuts to Rocky and Toast trying to repair the ship---

Rocky: Argh for fuck sake this thing is beyond repair!

Toast: TOAST!

Rocky: Do you know what to do Toast?

Toast: TOAST!

Rocky: Ofc you dont you can't even fucking talk properly!

Toast: Actually my friend I was going to suggest you repair the automatic hyperdrive by manually overriding the polarity of the engine whilst also topping up the flux capacitor of the shield-core but if you don't want to listen to me that's fine.

Rocky: Wait what? o.O

Toast: Oh sorry... I mean... TOAST!

---20 mins later the ship is up and running again---

Ally: Omg this is great but we need to find somewhere to hide from the Empire so we can have our orgies in peace.

Rocky: Don't worry I know just the place!

---Meanwhile whilst Grass is showing Heo several 'thrusting' exercises, a noise is heard from outside---

Heo: Grass can we stop now? It's hurting!

Grass: Holy shit what's that noise?

Heo: Idk

Grass: Can you go check it out for me? *gives Heo a baseball bat*

Heo: Ummm... ok *nervously walks outside and sees a black guy who looks exactly like Rocker*

Black guy: Yo fuck you dawg! You still owe me money for your sister's weed!

Heo: GAAH! *whacks the guy dead with the bat and runs inside*

Grass: Dude! I saw the whole thing! You weren't meant to kill him!

Heo: But... I thought it was Darth Rocker or some test that you devised as part of my training

Grass: No tf

Dark: Welp... *laughing his ass off*

Grass: Great now the coppers are gonna be on my tail again! You better get out of here so I can hide the evidence!

Heo: But my training...

Grass: I SAID GET OUT!

---Heo and Dark leave as police sirens are heard---

Grass: Ah shit...


---Meanwhile the other four are arriving at Cloud City---

Ally: Omg this place looks like Vegas, you thinking what I'm thinking?

Rocky: It's run by my old friend Aqua Caliressian, he'll take care of us

Toast: I'm shaking my head, the author of this FF has obviously missed a chance for a perfect type casting as Rocker, being the only black guy on TDRPW and Lando, being the only black guy in Star Wars would've been a perfect match. Unfortunately, Chwiis had already foolishly cast Rocker as Darth Vader, when really that part could've gone to like Chip or GO or someone else. That stupid Australian.

Everyone: ...

Toast: I mean... TOAST! Shit I think I'm coming down with something!

---Rocky lands the ship and Aqua comes out to greet them---

Aqua: OMG GUISE! Like, welcome to my #city! You're just in time because #BigBrother is on!

Fiz: Yay BB!

Ally: Do you have triple rooms here? Me, Rocky and Toast have some... business to attend to...

Aqua: *whispering to Rocky* Like #ew why are you hanging around with that skank? She looks so ratchet!

Rocky: Not my fault she is desperate for a taste of 'the Rock'

Aqua: Ok let me show you to your rooms

---Aqua shows them the room and walks out---

Rocker: So all going according to plan then white boi?

Aqua: *sighs* Like yeah but I dont want them #harmed

Rocker: All I want is Heo, what happens to Rocky is up to Garret Fett

Garret: *appears* The bitch owes money to JRO the Hutt so he's coming with me *giggles like a rapist*


---1 Hour Later---

Aqua: Ok guys it's like #TimeForDinner so #ComeWithMe

Rocky: Ok he's acting weird as fuck, something is up I can tell

Aqua: Ok here's the #DiningRoom *opens the door revealing Rocker and Garret*

Rocker: Welcome ignorants

Toast: TOAST!

Rocky: OH SHIT! YOU SCARED THE FUCK OUTTA ME! *shoots*

Rocker: *Uses his Keanu Reeves powers to block the bullets*

Ally: Does this mean the orgy is off?

---The scene cuts to a dark room where Rocky is about to be frozen in carbonite---

Rocker: Rocky will be frozen in carbonite and Garret will take him to JRO. The others will remain in custody here.

Rocky: But that's BS!

Rocker: How does it feel to have roles reversed now bitches? A Black guy unfairly imprisoning whites! It just goes to show that racism is still alive and well in America!

Rocky: Piss off Black Attack!

Rocker: Why you racist, ignorant piece of white trash *punches him in the chest* Now I gtg, I sense Skywalker is coming! *leaves*

Garret: Alright let's freeze the man...

Rocky: Toast you look after everyone while I'm gone, and don't eat my cashews!

Toast: MAY TOAST BE WITH YOU

Rocky: And Ally....

Ally: Yes?

Rocky: I'd fuck you...

Ally: <3

---Rocky is lowered into the machine, where he is frozen and his body is brought back up and slammed on the ground---

Garret: You're mine now bitch *takes his body away, giggling*

Aqua: Ok good everyone is gone, I'll #help you, come with me!


---They all run towards the Cashew Falcon and take off, as the scene cuts to Heo, who is very conveniently and coincidentally also stopping over at Cloud City---

Heo: Alright Dark we just need to stop for a bit so I can get some ice cream, you want any?

Dark: Nah I'm too Max Goof for ice cream

Heo: Fine *tries to open the door to the city* open this door then

Dark: Again, too Max Goof

Heo: You know, if you overuse a gag too much it begins to stop being funny

Dark: Nah, I'm too Max Goof for my gags to stop being funny

Heo: You puta

Dark: Don't worry Heo...

Heo: .

Dark: I'm sure one day you'll tell a joke that might make somebody laugh

Heo: >.> *tries to use the power of Shrek to open the door* It wont open!

---Suddenly the door opens again, revealing Rocker on the other side---

Rocker: Hello there

Heo: GAH! *draws lightsaber*

Rocker: *draws*

---They fight, Heo tries hard to defeat Rocker but Rocker is just toying with him---

Rocker: Ok no offence but you suck at fighting jan

Heo: Shut up!

Rocker: I have something to discuss with you

Heo: I dont want to hear it!

Rocker: I have your friends...

Heo: WHY YOU HIJO DE PUTA! *attacks harder*

Rocker: *cuts Heo's hand off*

Heo: OW! Wtf amigo!

Rocker: Chwiis never told you what happened to your father...

Heo: He told me enough. He told me you killed him!

Rocker: No Heo, I am your father...

Heo: Wait... how tf does that make sense?

Rocker: Look jan, I'm black, you're hispanic, join me and together we can take down this white, ignorant society.

Heo: I'll never join you *jumps off the balcony*

Rocker: Typical Mexican

Heo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *somehow the end of his shoe clings onto a wire on the bottom of the city*


---Meanwhile the Cashew Falcon just happens to be flying past---

Fiz: Hey look there's Heo!

Toast: You know massive coincidences in stories indicates poor writing

Ally: He's a pretty shitty root but I guess we should get him. After all, we need him for taco bell runs.

Aqua: Ok I'll #GetHimDown *gets Heo's body and brings him in*


---The scene cuts to a hospital where Heo is getting a robotic arm and Ally, Fiz and Dark are watching on---

Heo: What happened?

Ally: You got your ugly ass beat by Rocker

Heo: What happened to the hand that God gave me?

Dark: It's gone boi

Heo: Wait Dark how did you escape the city?

Dark: Easy, I'm too Max Goof to not escape...


---Meanwhile Aqua and Toast are still on the Cashew Falcon---

Aqua: *on radio* BOLIEVE come in, BOLIEVE come in

Heo: BOLIEVE receiving

Aqua: BOLIEVE is such a #ratchet name js

Heo: .-.

Aqua: Anyway, we'll meet up again later, where we are gonna #SaveRocky

Ally: See you Toast, hopefully we can fuck again some other time!

Toast: MAY TOAST BE WITH YOU

Aqua: #Bye

---The cashew falcon takes off and zooms off at light speed---

Heo: You know Ally, if you are feeling horny we can always...

Ally: No

Heo: But we'd have to get married first, no sex before marriage and all

Ally: I said NO!

Heo: >.>

Fiz: I know I'm not Rj but you just got #Blindsided


---The scene cuts to Garret's ship as Garret is humping Rocky's carbonated body---

Garret: Giggity gig! That's all folks!

THE END!

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