'Twas the night before Christmas
Our lord and saviour was in his swamp, having Christmas dinner with his pal Donkey
Donkey: Mmmm Shrek, that was a good Christmas loosener, let's go harder!
Shrek: That'll do Donkey, that'll do...
Donkey: Alright let's eat! What did you cook?
Shrek: Ogres are like onions
Donkey: Kinda like books *picks up a book about Christmas*
Shrek: NO! Not like books! *slams it on the table*
---The book opens up on a page about Santa Claus---
Shrek: Wait who tf is this bitch?
Donkey: Why that's Santa Claus boi!
Shrek: *reading* sneaks into little children's houses at night... brings them joy and pleasure... HEY THAT'S MAH JOB!
Donkey: You gonna take that shit Shrek?
Shrek: No! We're shuttin this son of a bitch down *uses his powers by snapping his fingers and the pair end up at the North Pole*
Santa: What are you doing here?
Shrek: This is mah swamp now bitch!
Santa: HO HO HO! I think you are mistaken!
Shrek: Alright you're going the right way for a smacked bottom! Don't you call me a hoe slut! *ties Santa down, puts a gagball in his mouth and pounds him from the back*
Santa: HO HO OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
---2 hours later---
Shrek: That'll do Santa, that'll do...
Donkey: Shrek! It's almost midnight we gotta deliver the presents!
---The two run over to the sleigh---
Rudolph: Where tf is Santa?
Shrek: Stfu bitch this is mah swamp now
Donkey: Yeah and I'm the new reindeer
Rudolph: You think you can replace me? Pfft you scrub
Shrek: Now that's not very nice! It's just a donkey! *absorbs Rudolph and replaces him with Donkey*
Shrek: Alright Donkey go!
---The pair fly off in the sleigh and the scene cuts to a little boy's bedroom at 3am---
Rimie: Phew just finished rping, time for me to get some sleep
Shrek: Bursts through the door HO HO HO bitch
Rimie: Santa? Is that you?
Shrek: No... but you're about to learn the true meaning of Christmas